Stripper chronicles: pros and cons

Q: What’s a bad night like at work?

A: For me a bad night is when I’m stressed and I get that yucky stressed feeling going through my body That tends to override any part of what’s actually happening at work. But otherwise it’s if you get a horrible customer, someone who’s malicious or rude. You get a lot of rude customers. You get guys trying to grab you all night. That sort of stuff.

Q: What’s a good night like?

A: In a great mood. Really enjoy it. Have really nice conversations. You’re like, ‘Awww, everyone’s lovely.’ It’s always fun having a customer who’s paying you that you actually enjoy spending time with, who gets how it works. So you don’t have to discuss money every ten minutes, which can be awkward. He gets it and just pays you.

Q: Do you ever have to haggle?

A: I don’t bother. Some people want you to so I just don’t. There’s always someone else that they can go and talk to. They mostly know what the deal is.

Q: How are strippers different from other girls?

A: They’re better at dressing. They tend to know what suits their bodies as opposed to what they want to wear. I think they tend to be a bit more confident.

Q: They seem to be lovely. Aren’t most strippers lovely? Or just your friends?

A: Well I like my friends. I don’t get along with all the strippers. They’re probably pretty – at least at work – lacking in ‘judgmentalness’. Because you kind of have to be to get along with the clients. Not always, but you’re going to get someone in who doesn’t necessarily agree with you and part of your job is to, you know, humour them.

Q: What do you like about being a stripper? Is it a good job?

B: It’s a fantastic job. Because of freedom. There’s a lot of time to live your life. A lot of people seem to live lives which are just work.

Q: Yes. That’s normal.

B: I know, but why do that? Why would you? Where’s the life then? What’s the point? So that’s a very good thing about it. And I like working for myself. I don’t do well when people try and tell me what to do. I don’t do well when people try and push me to work harder. I work as hard as I want. Sometimes I work very hard and sometimes I don’t, and that’s up to me and I like that. And when you’ve got your head screwed on it’s quite good for your ego. It’s a compliment.

Q: What’s bad about being a stripper?

B: I think you can lose perspective. I think you need to get away from the job reasonably often because you do lose perspective about what’s important, like how important it is to look good, and how to relate to people in general, rather than just in that environment. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, putting yourself in a situation where you feel like people are looking critically at you, assessing you, is not really a very healthy situation to be in. And making unpredictable money is quite difficult sometimes. Even though its pretty good money, the unpredictability of it can be a bit stressful. It makes it hard to organise your finances.

Stripper chronicles: more about men

Q: How has being a stripper changed your attitude to men?

B: I don’t know if it has. When I’m at work I’m probably a little bit less understanding than I would have been when I first started. Less tolerant.

Q: So if they go past a line, you don’t put up with it any more?

B: Yes. When I’m out, it’s probably changed my attitude in that way. When I’m out I expect to have security guards at my beck and call. Like, ‘Him. Out!’ So I go to a nightclub and I expect to be able to say, ‘Get rid of him, please.’ And I think, ‘I can’t do that!’

Q: Sometimes you can. It depends what they’ve done.

B: Yeah, but this is for little things. If people say something that makes me feel like I am at work it annoys me, makes me angry. If they say something sleazy.

Q: But you don’t mind when you are at work because that’s the whole idea?

B: Well, I didn’t used to mind that. Whereas now, sometimes I’m tolerant of that at work, but often when I’m out it makes me feel like I am at work and I think, ‘I don’t need this. If you’re not paying me, you don’t have the right to be rude to me. I don’t need it. So it’s changed my attitude in that way. A man has to be very, very non-sleazy for me to be tolerant of him talking to me now.

A: And it’s ‘tolerant’. It’s not interesting any more. Conversations with people aren’t interesting any more. You’re going to tolerate it as long as you can before you fuck off. And it is like that. ‘Can I tolerate this, and how much longer can I?’

B: It’s true. Like when I met M he wasn’t sleazy. He was a dag. He was just a bit weird. And even then I was umming and ahhing. I was kind of interested but kind of defensive.

Stripping sisters

Q: What’s it like to work as a stripper with your sister?

B: Um . . .

A: She loves it. She. Loves. It.

B: The thing about stripping – well one of the many things about stripping – is that a lot of the job is not what people think it is. Actual stripping is only a part of it. And that happens in private, so it’s not as weird doing the job with your sister there as it would be if it were all about stripping out on the floor, I guess. It’s kind of like being a hostess. You’re in a night club type environment, people come to have fun, and so they want to come and see pretty girls who are having fun, and making them feel happy and like they’re having fun. And then they’ll want to have more fun with you and then they’ll want to pay you. So going out to a night club type environment is something that I do do with A, and it’s fun, and it’s just like that.

Q: So it’s a good thing to have a clubbing friend with you at work.

B: It’s very good. Very good.

A: Told ya. She. Loves. It.

B: Because she has the perspective of a stripper which most people that I love don’t have so she’s supportive in that way and she also has the perspective of . . .

Q: Hang on. Are you saying that I’m not very supportive?

A: No. You’re Terrible.

B; Shocking. Shocking.

A: I hate the way you talk about it, like you’re kind of proud of us. Disgusting, disturbed woman.

(This is all said in jest, in case it’s not obvious on the page. You know, you had to be there.)

B: No you are. But there are some things that I talk about to A because she knows what I mean. She’s been there and she’s experienced it all. There are other strippers who I can talk about that with but they won’t necessarily come from a similar point of view. You know there are a lot of things that we believe that other people don’t and so A has both of those perspectives in common with me so I can talk to her and feel understood and supported. And she makes me laugh and so it’s good to have a break from being in a sort of work frame of mind just to be silly. Which I’ll do with A around much more often than I’ll do without her around.

Q: Thanks Babe. Do you have anything to add to that, A?

A: I like working with B because she gives me lifts to work and . . . I like her. So it’s nice having people that you like at work with you.

B: Do you get the feeling that she’s . . .

Q: Not Taking This Seriously?

A: You know, sometimes it’s bad, because if B gets sad then I get sad and I don’t make any money. So I want to be there for her. And if she’s a bit upset about something I’ll find out about it and I’m like, ‘Awwww,’ and I feel myself deflate and I go, ‘Dammit! I did it again.’ And then I go home.

B: I don’t go home.

A: But I feel bad now. ‘Awww, B’s sad. Can I go?’ Like I went downstairs one night to ask the housemum if B could go because she was really upset about something and she didn’t want to ask if she could go. And the housemum said that’s fine and I said, ‘Can I go?’ And she went, ‘Yeah,’ and I said, ‘I’m sorry. Because B is sad and it makes me sad,’ and she said, ‘I know. I know that. You’re ‘right mate.’ So mostly it’s excellent but occasionally it’s bad because, you know, B is my big sister, and I have this really protective thing with her so if she gets upset about something I can find it a little hard to focus on the job because, well, I Don’t Care. About the job. Really. So if there’s anything to distract me I’m going to go with it. That’s a little bit with everyone, not just B. It just affects me a bit more if it’s B.

B: Yes, it’s a volatile kind of environment. Customers and dancers – and bar staff and everyone that works there – we’re all in it together. If it’s got a bad feel, we all cop it.

A: And it’s kind of cool. You get really good at picking up the feel of a room or a group of people. Which I think we all do anyway, but we’re so used to walking into an environment and having to know what’s going on that we start to pick it up without knowing that we are. So you can walk in and know what the vibe is.

Q: So you can walk into a night club and get a feel for it?

A: Probably, yes. I usually walk into night clubs and it just. looks. so. pretentious! ‘I’m not at work!’

B: It’s easier at work. It’s easier in an environment you’re used to because you feel the difference. Whereas somewhere you’ve never been before . . .

A: You still can though. You still do get a feel.

B: You can, definitely. And it’s the same the other way. When people are feeling good, it rubs off on everybody. Which often is the case because the girls are just so lovely, they really are lovely to you when you go there. They say hi to you and they really give you good vibes from the start. Most of the time.

Stripper chronicles: Sex

This is the question I thought might be the most interesting, but we came up with very little. I didn’t have anything to include of daughter B’s answer because it was more or less, ‘It hasn’t.’

Q: How as being a stripper changed your attitude to sex?

A: Not sure. I’m probably less excited about sex.

Q: Would it be a bit more of the same? I mean, you’re being sexual to strange men for your work.

A: Theoretically sexual but, you know, I think you can compartmentalise that. So at work I’m not being sexual. I’ve sort of closed that off. It’s like it’s a different part.

Q: So you’re just doing your dance that you know will be sexual to them but doesn’t feel that way to you?

A: It might or might not be sexual to them and I’m not thinking about that. It’s like, I don’t want to think about that, so I don’t. Yeah, it’s weird. I think now, because I’m a stripper and I have been for a while, there’s this idea that I’m supposed to be really open about sex. You know, you tell someone you’re a stripper and they start talking to you about Club Xs and all that sort of thing, you know, sex shops. And, because I hate feeling like I’m supposed to do anything, I’ve got a bit of the opposite, so now I’m really not that into being open about sex. Because I’m supposed to be. But I’m not sure if that has actually changed or if it’s just the way I always was. But there is a bit of that, yeah. Like guys sort of expect that. I’m not sure if I can handle it though. ‘Cos, you know, I’ve always hated it when people think I should do something because I just should.

Stripper chronicles: about women

Q: Has being a stripper changed your attitude to women?

A: Yes. I don’t like women as much. At least not a lot of the women who come into work.

Q: Why?

A: Because they’re so annoying when they come in! The girls at work are strippers. The guys at work are men and if a girl comes into the club she’s a man. That’s how we look at her. We’re the women. Everyone else is a customer. They come in and sometimes they’re lovely, but sometimes they come in and they feel so threatened. It’s like we’re threatening their sexuality and they can’t handle that – which is understandable, I couldn’t have handled that when I first went in. So they get really bitchy, you know, as women are wont to do, and I’m just always like, ‘Just leave then! We don’t care. You can do this job if you want, or you can not, or you can, you know, whatever.’ But god, what an effort! And sometimes they’re really horrible. So they’re a real effort when they are like that. Sometimes they’re just so nervous and they get you to give them a dance, you know, as a bit of a joke, and they are such horrible dances to do because you can’t give them a proper dance ‘cos they’re giggling too much and they don’t know where to look. And on the other hand you want to give them a proper dance because that’s what they’ve paid for, but also you do try and give the client whatever they actually want so you get a bit of a feel for that, but you don’t want to give them too much as well ‘cos they’ll get really uncomfortable. So it’s always like, ‘Oh, fucking hell. What am I supposed to do here?’ And then you get the girls who think they can touch because they’re girls. And that just pisses you off. Like, ‘Fuck you. Who do you think you are?’ And some girls are absolutely lovely.

Q: And I guess the ones who are lovely you don’t notice as much. It’s the horrible ones that you’re going to be noticing.

A: They’re mostly OK, it’s just that most of the customers are men so you get really used to relating to men. When you relate to women you do have to relate to them a little bit differently and it’s just that there’s not really a place for them there. And some of them are lovely, and those ones are great. Like, I don’t talk to women, but if they come up to me – which they OFTEN DO!! LEAVE ME ALONE – they usually are lovely. But often they’re just. so. annoying. And they start dancing for their boyfriends in the corner, you know, because they’re so uncomfortable about their own sexuality that they need to prove that they’re sexy. Which is actually quite funny for us. But you know what I mean? It’s like, ‘Don’t Come In. You Can’t Handle It.’ And then they’ll make us feel bad, like, try to make us feel bad and give us greasy looks and we’re like, ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?’ So, yeah, I feel a bit separated from other women now. I don’t really know how to relate to them as well. But I think it’s just numbers. You get so used to relating to men and other strippers – and other strippers are sort of different to other women, it’s a different sort of relationship I suppose – that you’re just like, “Oh, I don’t know how to do this.’

Q: What about lesbians?

A: When girls decide that they’re getting a dance, and they’re enjoying it and they’re getting into it, they show that they’re into it. I’m like, ‘What are you doing?’ They think it’s fine because they’re women. They’re just a bit more wrong than guys are. Like if you see a guy stripper he’ll almost always have scars, scratches and shit on his back because women are nasty. Women will try to grab a guy and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, they’re much more into pain than men are. So they can be a bit like that. But again, often they’re lovely. You know, I’ve danced for lesbians and they just enjoy it and we have a nice chat. I think it’s just numbers, you know. Half and half. Half of the women might be lovely and half of them might be horrible, whereas with men, you’re so used to sifting through and figuring out who you want to dance for with guys, you’re going to get less of the crap.

Q: Or it’s designed for men. The way the whole place is set up and operates is done for what men want.

A: Yeah, I think that’s got a lot to do with it. Women don’t get that the rules apply to them. And we’re like, ‘Well you walked in here. Think of yourself as a guy.’ You know, women are used to being able to play up and the guys around them reacting to it, and they can’t in a strip club because they’re not the women. They’re the men. They’re not the women in that environment. It’s really strange. It’s like when you come in you’re now a customer and that’s it. You don’t really have a gender. And they don’t get that. Obviously they don’t get that, so they don’t really get the rules of how they’re supposed to behave and that it’s not funny when they do dumb shit. We want to get them to leave then because it’s inappropriate.

I thought I’d better ask my other daughter this question since daughter A didn’t pull her punches much. So here is daughter B’s opinion (with an interjection or 2 from A):

Q: How has being a stripper changed you attitude to women?

B: Generally, it’s improved it more than the opposite – whatever the opposite is.

Q: De-proved it.

B: Yeah, that. In most of my life I haven’t gotten along with women very well. I don’t really understand women. I understand men. They make sense to me – well, some of them do. On a superficial level men make sense to me, and on a superficial level women don’t. I don’t know how to talk to them. In a conversation with a woman I don’t know what to say, I don’t know where to take the conversation, I don’t know how to connect with them. In general. Obviously there have been a couple of exceptions to that. But then I became a stripper and I met all of these strippers who are really, really cool people, and open and easy-going and fun, and I get along with them. I love them. They’re fantastic people. So in that way it’s improved my attitude to women.

Q: What is it that didn’t used to make sense to you about women?

B: I think I don’t know what women want from me. You know, if you have a conversation you have a sub-conscious contract about what it is for and where you’re going to take it, what the point of even talking to each other is. And I know what that is with a man. It doesn’t have to be a man that I’m interested in, but I still have a sort of underlying confidence about the conversation that I know what my job is. I know what I’ve got to do to make it all go well, whatever the purpose of it is, and for everyone to be happy. And with a woman I don’t know. I don’t know what she wants from me. I’m often not even sure why I’m having the conversation.

Q: So what’s the difference when you are having a conversation with a stripper?

B: I guess for starters I have more in common with them because we have the same job. It’s endlessly interesting to talk to other strippers about the job because you can’t talk to anyone else about it. They really don’t understand. They almost always get completely the wrong end of the stick. Any number of wrong ends. It’s not the same thing that they get wrong but they’re just not on the same wavelength. So I suppose I have something to talk to them about and I find them more easy-going than other women. They’re not, I don’t know, competitive in a conversation. And they’re very, very friendly but they’re not needy or intrusive or any of that.

Q: Has being a stripper had any effect on how you relate to non-stripper women now?

B: Well I don’t really relate to non-stripper women. I don’t know any. The only non-stripper women that I meet often are customers at work and I avoid them. So I don’t really talk to them.

Q: For the same reasons as ‘A’? That it’s not very good having female customers at work?

B: For the same reasons as I’ve always struggled with women. I don’t know why they’re there. I don’t know what they want from me, and I certainly don’t want to dance for them because I don’t feel sexy dancing for a girl and if I don’t feel sexy I don’t want to do the job. I don’t feel sexy dancing for a couple. Don’t like it. So, when you’re at work, if it’s not to get a dance there’s no point talking to somebody.

Q: ‘A’ said often girls come up to talk to her, nice ones, but she doesn’t want to waste her time. Do girls sometimes approach you at work?

B: Not just to talk, very often. Sometimes they approach me for dances. Very occasionally.

Q: And do you say no?

B: Depends if I feel like I can say no without offending them.

A: AHEM. I don’t mind wasting my time talking to girls.

Q: You may not have said that. I’ll have to check my files.

B: Sometimes I’ll say something like, ‘I’ve just got another dance to do,’ or ‘I’m busy at the moment,’ or, ‘I’m about to go on stage,’ and then I hope that they’ll forget about me. I don’t normally say it to girls but often a guy will come up and say, ‘ Will you dance for me and my girlfriend?’ and I’ll say, ‘No. I don’t dance for girls.’

Stripper chronicles: One night in the life of

More from my daughter the stripper:

Q: ‘One night in the life of a stripper.’ What happens when you first go to work?

A: You pay your house fee then you go downstairs and dump your bags.

Q: What is downstairs? Is it a changing room?

A: Changing room, yeah, and all the lockers and stuff. So you take your bags down there. You put on your make-up. You put on spray tan, if you do that. Do your hair, if you do that.

Q: Do you do them?

A: No.

Q: You do nothing? You just have your hair the way it is?

A: I do my make-up.

Q: Nothing to your hair?

A: No, it just sits. I think I’ve got pretty good hair though, which helps. I can just leave it down and it’s all right. Put on your clothes, put on your shoes, or don’t put them on and carry them upstairs because it’s like, three flights and they’re on a slope so that you always feel like you are going to fall off them.

Q: Angled, how?

A: To the front.

Q: That’s really dangerous. Especially with high heels on.

A: Well, people don’t fall down them. You’re a lot more careful when you’re in stripper shoes than you are any other time. Then you might have a coffee. There’s a coffee machine downstairs.

Q: When you go upstairs, do you go because you’ve got a podium straight away, or do you just go and hang out on the floor?

A: Whichever one you want. Some girls take a long time to get ready. I sometimes take 15 minutes to get ready and other times take an hour and a half if I don’t feel like going up. So you can go up, start work, just walk out onto the floor, see who’s there, go and talk to someone, or you can go up when it’s time for your podium. That can be how you start.

Q: Do you often go out onto the floor and start chatting to each other?

A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. It can be a bit of a mothers’ club.

Q: ‘On the floor’ is basically the big room where everyone hangs out?

A: Yes.

Q: So the clients come in and through the main foyer, and straight into that room?

A: They go upstairs to that room.

Q: And is there a stage there?

A: Yes, there are two. There’s the main stage and then there’s a little podium. The main stage is where you do the podiums and where the shows are done every however often they’re done and the smaller podium is for when it’s a busy night and you just have more girls on stage.

Q: So on a less busy night the small podium’s not in use?

A: Yes.

Q: And is it every hour and a half that somebody goes on the podium?

A: No. Every 20 minutes it changes.

Q: So what about you? Through the night how many times do you go on it?

A: Three, four times. Maybe two times.

Q: So there are girls on the podium all the time. They just swap over every 20 minutes.

A: Yes.

Q: Twenty minutes at a time! That’s a long time.

A: It’s all right though. You just do whatever.

Q: So once you’ve been on the podium, is it often that someone has seen you on there and wants you to do a dance?

A: Yes.

Q: Is that the most common way of getting a dance?

A: Different girls work differently. That’s common for me. If that doesn’t happen I’m like, ‘Woo, hang on. There’s something wrong here.’ Other girls, no. They walk around and talk to customers. It depends on the girl.

Q: And if somebody wants a dance, do you go off to another room?

A: Yes. There are two rooms with couches and then two rooms without doors that have seats in them.

Q: So there might be another couple in the same room?

A: Yes.

Q: And sometimes you talk about getting more money if you take them downstairs.

A: Yes. That’s the ‘dungeon’.

Q: Is that on the same level as where you get changed?

A: Yes. You walk through the foyer/dungeon area to get to the change rooms. And the dungeon’s got like a schoolroom, and a shower room, a jail cell, a mirror room and an Arabian room. So you can take someone down there and it’s a lot more private. You can dance for them down there. And there’s a bar as well.

Q: It’s sounds more relaxed down there. So is that why you make more money, because you tend to spend a lot more time there?

A: It costs a bit more to go down there because we give a little bit of what they pay to the club to use those rooms. They are, theoretically, fantasy rooms so we might put on costumes for the client. That doesn’t happen very often, but we can do it because they are paying for that sort of stuff. It’s just better down there. Customers always say, ‘What’s different?’ and I’m like, ‘There’s no difference. You’re going to get the same dance but it’s better.’ I don’t know, it’s like more personal. And somehow that changes it a little bit even if it doesn’t literally change anything.

Q: When you do shows, is it one a night?

A: It used to be one a night. Now it’s one a week.

Q: How many shows are there?

A: There’s one at 9 o’clock and a little one at 10.20. Then there’s one at midnight. And on Friday and Saturday there’s a little one at 1.30 and another big one at 3 o’clock.

Q: So they have enough girls who are willing to do that many shows?

A: Well almost all the girls used to do one a night. They are finding it harder to get showgirls to do them, though. I think because they do so many less now and the house fees went up and the show fees didn’t go up accordingly, so we’re like, ‘Why am I doing this for not the right amount of money?’ And it’s not as much fun. It was occasionally quite fun doing a big show, but then you’d have mini-shows which are easy and fun to intersperse. But now you don’t get them and it’s just like well fuck. I don’t know, they used to make it really worth it to do them and now they don’t really.

Q: So if it were worth it, would you want to do them again?

A: I still do them sometimes. I did a mini.

Q: Yes, I remember, you told me.

A: It’s the culture around shows that has changed. So it used to be, ‘Oh you’re doing shows for us. That’s great. We love you. That’s excellent.’ Now it’s like, ‘Do a show.’ That’s it. So it’s the culture around it that’s different.

Stripper chronicles: Men at work

My two daughters work as strippers so I interviewed one of them and here’s the first part:

Q: What kind of person makes the most money as a stripper?

A: Someone who doesn’t get too emotional about it and who’s quite good at just keeping on working, quite focussed on that. And who’s quite good at – don’t know a better way to say this – but is quite good at pandering to the clients, without actually getting involved with it all. They’re good at being a host. You know how a host is supposed to make everyone feel comfortable? They know what’s happening, they know what you want and how to sort it out for you, but they’re not necessarily your best friend. And girls who can work really hard.

Q: Are you good at being a host?

A: Sometimes. I’m not so good at pandering any more.

Q: What do you mean by pandering?

A: There are a few different ways you can go as a stripper and the way I’ve gone after working for a few years is that I only dance for people I feel like dancing for. I only do what I’m in the mood to do.

Q: And were you different when you first started?

A: I used to be really good at being a host because I just loved talking to people so much and I was happy and friendly and so I was naturally really good at it. But now after a few years you become so aware of your own behaviour, it feels like you’re faking it. I don’t think you are faking it, but because you’re so used to drawing that part of yourself out over and over again, at some point it’s like, ‘Ooh, I need to draw some other part of myself out,’ almost. I think it’s easy to get your head in the way of what you’re doing. You know, when you’re thinking about something too much. If you can not do that then it’s pretty easy to be a good host.

Q: How has being a stripper changed your attitude to men?

A: I don’t look men in the eyes anymore when I’m walking down the street. You have so much contact and so many conversations that when you’re not at work you just don’t want to interact with anyone.

Q: Is that just men or everyone?

A: Everyone, I think. And I’m a bit more aware of what they’re doing, like, I’m really aware of what I like in a guy and what I don’t like and I can see it. It takes you 30 seconds to figure out what a guy’s like. Maybe it doesn’t, maybe we just think it does, but . . . it does. Because you’ve spent so much time doing it in a way that . . . you’re thinking about it, you’re not just having an innocent conversation. It’s hopefully a nice conversation but with an ulterior motive so you’re really thinking about what’s going on: Is it the time to ask them for a dance? Does this guy like me? Should I hang around? Should I leave? You spend so much time thinking about that stuff that you become really aware of their behaviour so you know what a guy’s doing really quickly.

Q: Meaning that if you meet a guy out on the street, you can tell what he’s thinking?

A: If you talk to someone for 30 seconds you can sort of tell, yeah. But meeting guys out on the street, I just don’t have the energy for the smile or the hello or the chat because I’ve been doing it all night. It’s like anything else that you’ve expended your energy on all night. You need a break. It’s really hard to have an innocent flirtation any more because you’re so aware of what both of you are doing. You know it so it’s not innocent. So that’s kind of frustrating.

Q: So can you flirt now?

A: I can’t really flirt any more. It feels so fake. It’s not necessarily fake, it’s just that I am so aware of it.

Q: So how do you pick up a man if you are interested?

A: I don’t pick them up. I guess the other thing about getting that so quickly, knowing what a guy’s about is that it’s really quick that I realise I’m not interested.

Q: But sometimes you must realise that you are.

A: On the odd occasion.

Q: So when someone tries to pick you up, does that all look just so obvious to you that you find it hard to take it seriously.

A: Depends. At work it’s just part of the job. They’re going to flirt and they’re sometimes going to want to pick you up because, you know, they get so excited about it. When I’m out, yeah, I get bored and I find myself looking at guys waiting to see what they have to say, to entice me. Like, ‘Come on, what do you want?’ Yeah, it is a bit boring. If someone’s trying to pick me up I immediately lose interest. If I’m having a conversation with someone and I enjoy it then I’m interested, but not if someone’s actually trying. How weird is that? But if I like a guy and he’s interested in me, I’m still a little bit surprised. But I think that’s more that, you know, when you’re personally invested in something it’s hard to read regardless.

More to come. Stay tuned.

What next? Jail for whistling?

Cop a load of this!

Can you believe it? I’m concerned now. They may change the law to include wolf whistles.

What if I go to Italy and whistle at some hot young man {more than possible given I’m a tart} and end up in jail!

We ll know that men LOVE to have women whistle and hoot at them. They also love being treated as no more than a sex object. Jump thier bones and send them home to Mummy. They LOVE it.

Fuck me! Where would the fun be in going to Italy if you can’t have a good perv on the local eye candy?

Now the fucking kill joy police are starting to stick their truncheons where they aren’t wanted.

Life is SO depressing sometimes

What was she thinking?

What was this woman thinking? She MAY have been better off with a husband do you think?

**bitch slap yourself woman**

What the fuck was I thinking??? A man would be able to complain as they’re want to do. She was better off with what she had when I think about it.

Head jobs

There’s nothing that brings a couple together as much as head job I don’t think.

I mean, what more could togetherness mean??? One mouth, one cock, both coming together.

It just doesn’t get any better than that.

Oh, wait! Yes it does!! When he munches the rug at the same time!!

Well feed me garlic and call me stinky, what sort of a fuckwit am I??

If you intend giving your man a blowie remember. A mouthful of hot coffee before a mouthful of cock will always be appreciated!