The knowledge I’m going to impart today, is on why you shouldn’t set fire to your ex husbands penis. These little points are something you could possibly need at some point in your life, and it always pays to be prepared I think.
1. Why deprive any other woman of the misery you went through? Let them find out for themselves what a lousy root he is!
2. They say masturbation leads to insanity. Letting him pull himself into the funny farm would be a good revenge.
3. Bonus on the above point. If you convince him to eat lots of Twisties, and he DOES pull himself often enough, his dick will turn yellow and he’ll think he has some fatal disease!
4. Do you really want to have to look at that horrible little creature one more time?
5. The effort it will take to find the damn thing to do it, would be far more than what the end result is worth. Once you’ve put the pepper, magnifying glass and tweezers together, the urge would probably have gone anyway.
6. By the time you got around to wanting to do it, God only knows where it could have been, so you really don’t want to be getting that close! It could be contagious!
7. He may be a closet masochist. He did leave you remember? Do you really want to take the chance on giving him pleasure?
8. Arson is against the law after all.
So there are 8 perfectly good reasons why you shouldn’t do this
And you clicked the link thinking you wouldn’t learn anything!!!
Thought I was full of shit didn’t you??
3 responses so far ↓
observantbystander // September 5, 2007 at 1:49 am
I loved the line “The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation”. Notice the use of the word “climaxed”. Cracked me up! My sage advice would be just to cut the offending appendage off with a knife. Just be done with it – no half-burnt weenies, please!
yeah i know! i cracked up too!!!
just one question though..your surname bobbit by any chance???
moe
Tee hee hee, Moe!
Bella // September 8, 2007 at 7:20 am
Ha! Ha! OB, too much girl! I like the “It was monstrously painful,” the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. “I was burning like a torch”.
A burning sensation in his penis? Sounds to me like he needs a cream for that! DOH!
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this” Puh-lease. Stupid man.
Deb // September 8, 2007 at 6:06 pm
I also loved the lines that ob and bella picked up on! Oh, that poor man, but the article reads like the lines to a bad play!