Dear Ms. Stark and the Good Ladies of the BOK,
I am in a bit of a quandry and I hope that you knowledgeable ladies can give me some advice. For the last few months, I have noticed that my husband has been very interested in plush animals. It started with him purchasing a few for me (from fairs, for special occasions etc). A plush puppy here, a soft little pony there… I didn’t seem to mind this behaviour at first. But later, as his compulsion grew, I am finding his behaviour more ”strange” and “bizarre” (Our bedroom is stuffed with plush animals people! They are choking me in my sleep! [gasp, gasp!]).
Oh! And, more recently, I have noticed that he spends hours browsing the Internet for pornographic photos of cartoon animals! Just last week, while arranging my toiletries, I found a stash of XXX rated cartoon comics of furry-animals in our bathroom cabinet! Needless to say, I was shocked. I didn’t realize they even made such a thing as “furry-porn”. Now, I will admit, that I flipped through a few of these comics and found them rather intriguing. Actually, I found them a little erotic. But, I’m not sure what I would do if my husband came home in a chicken suit! I’m a vegan! I can’t eat a chicken….let alone have wild furry-sex with one!
Help! What do I do?
-Stressed out in Fur-ville
Dear SOIF,
My advice to you is quite simple dearie. Pick an animal that you wouldn’t consider eating – be it a fox, a wolf, a horse….whatever. Buy the costume and have a “yiffy” good-time with that “furson” husband of yours! And, as you experience the best Kama Sutra “yiffing” of your life – don’t forget to “Yip!” you tight-assed ”yiff-sick” fool! [Oh! Sorry...pardon me....Is it getting *hot* in here or is it my sexy little kitty suit?!].
Ahem [smoothing her fur]. Anyways, go out and have some fun SOIF (just keep it safe, sane and consensual)…
You’ll feel like a “re-whelped” fox…
Sincerely,
Ms. Stark (High Priestess to the Guild of Yiff-sters)
7 responses so far ↓
Red // September 23, 2007 at 6:47 pm
*snort* Oh goodness! That just aint right.
anonymum // September 23, 2007 at 7:08 pm
let’s hope he doesn’t gravitate to the real thing…if you start seeing gerbils running around the place, start worrying
observantbystander // September 24, 2007 at 12:36 am
Hahaha! I saw a CSI episode once about a subgroup of plushie fetishists. It was the first time I knew there was such a thing as people who get turned on by dressing like a stuffed animal. Interesting.
I agree with Mum – gerbils will certainly spell trouble. Keep a lookout sister!
poseidonsmuse // September 24, 2007 at 6:32 pm
That’s exactly the episode that I thought of when I (Agh! I mean…), when Ms. Stark [pardon me], wrote the reply to this Reader. Gerbils, on the other hand, are a completely different story…Eeeek!
Arm Jerker J. // September 24, 2007 at 10:42 pm
I have a thing for mascots myself. Haha.
poseidonsmuse // September 25, 2007 at 2:00 am
Mascots you say? Hmm..Any faves? I’m kind of partial to the A&W Root Bear myself…!
joebec // September 27, 2007 at 6:07 pm
i’ve always been one for role playing so that is a rockin idea!