My very first time

As promised, I’m going to teach you all about nude garden gnome restoration.
Now, many times I’ve been asked whether the gnome or your person are the nude ones. As most of you know by now, the answer is either can be nude, or if it takes your fancy, both.
Now, I need to warn you, a nude gnome is NOT a pretty sight before you restore it!
All I need say here is, have you EVER seen a concrete penis with lots of holes in it??? It is not for the faint hearted I have to say, and in fact my first glimpse of said penis was quite disturbing. It cost me 000’s in therapy, and there are nights when I still have nightmares about it! (must deal with it…MUST!!!)
Perhaps you would be best to start with yourself nude as opposed to the gnome? It could be less stressful for your first time.
I speak with authority here.
*Please heed this advice! *
Now, just to whet your appetite, I’ve generously decided to share my very first experience in this wonderful hobby.
Picture one is of a sad, lost soul I found laying in the garden of a deserted house. He was in SUCH a state the poor little mite. It almost bought me to tears it was so sad! He was the inspiration behind my passion for this much under rated pass time.

I spent weeks lovingly bring this little guy back to life.
I gave him a new colour.
I gave him personality.
I gave him some wonderful clothes.
I even gave him a light to shine so that other lost souls would find their way to my haven, and a book to read so he would have an opportunity to better himself.
But the most important thing?
I gave him dignity! Why should these much maligned, inoffensive little decorations NOT have their dignity I ask??
Why should they lack the one thing that means much to you and I?
It shouldn’t be so! They should have pride! So I gave it to him, out of the goodness of my heart and because to that point his life had obviously been difficult! {I try to be charitable to those less fortunate than myself. Giving is good for the soul you know!}
See below for the end result of many hours of loving care and attention.
On the really positive side, I did this during summer, and as I wasn’t quite ready to restore a nude gnome at that stage, I myself was naked, and now have a wicked all over tan!
The benefits of this hobby are enormous, and I will clarify some of them in the next lesson, but for now, I merely wanted to highlight my very first project.
I hope you gain as much pleasure from seeing the end result as I did actually creating it!
~Knowledgable~