Stripper chronicles: Men at work

My two daughters work as strippers so I interviewed one of them and here’s the first part:

Q: What kind of person makes the most money as a stripper?

A: Someone who doesn’t get too emotional about it and who’s quite good at just keeping on working, quite focussed on that. And who’s quite good at – don’t know a better way to say this – but is quite good at pandering to the clients, without actually getting involved with it all. They’re good at being a host. You know how a host is supposed to make everyone feel comfortable? They know what’s happening, they know what you want and how to sort it out for you, but they’re not necessarily your best friend. And girls who can work really hard.

Q: Are you good at being a host?

A: Sometimes. I’m not so good at pandering any more.

Q: What do you mean by pandering?

A: There are a few different ways you can go as a stripper and the way I’ve gone after working for a few years is that I only dance for people I feel like dancing for. I only do what I’m in the mood to do.

Q: And were you different when you first started?

A: I used to be really good at being a host because I just loved talking to people so much and I was happy and friendly and so I was naturally really good at it. But now after a few years you become so aware of your own behaviour, it feels like you’re faking it. I don’t think you are faking it, but because you’re so used to drawing that part of yourself out over and over again, at some point it’s like, ‘Ooh, I need to draw some other part of myself out,’ almost. I think it’s easy to get your head in the way of what you’re doing. You know, when you’re thinking about something too much. If you can not do that then it’s pretty easy to be a good host.

Q: How has being a stripper changed your attitude to men?

A: I don’t look men in the eyes anymore when I’m walking down the street. You have so much contact and so many conversations that when you’re not at work you just don’t want to interact with anyone.

Q: Is that just men or everyone?

A: Everyone, I think. And I’m a bit more aware of what they’re doing, like, I’m really aware of what I like in a guy and what I don’t like and I can see it. It takes you 30 seconds to figure out what a guy’s like. Maybe it doesn’t, maybe we just think it does, but . . . it does. Because you’ve spent so much time doing it in a way that . . . you’re thinking about it, you’re not just having an innocent conversation. It’s hopefully a nice conversation but with an ulterior motive so you’re really thinking about what’s going on: Is it the time to ask them for a dance? Does this guy like me? Should I hang around? Should I leave? You spend so much time thinking about that stuff that you become really aware of their behaviour so you know what a guy’s doing really quickly.

Q: Meaning that if you meet a guy out on the street, you can tell what he’s thinking?

A: If you talk to someone for 30 seconds you can sort of tell, yeah. But meeting guys out on the street, I just don’t have the energy for the smile or the hello or the chat because I’ve been doing it all night. It’s like anything else that you’ve expended your energy on all night. You need a break. It’s really hard to have an innocent flirtation any more because you’re so aware of what both of you are doing. You know it so it’s not innocent. So that’s kind of frustrating.

Q: So can you flirt now?

A: I can’t really flirt any more. It feels so fake. It’s not necessarily fake, it’s just that I am so aware of it.

Q: So how do you pick up a man if you are interested?

A: I don’t pick them up. I guess the other thing about getting that so quickly, knowing what a guy’s about is that it’s really quick that I realise I’m not interested.

Q: But sometimes you must realise that you are.

A: On the odd occasion.

Q: So when someone tries to pick you up, does that all look just so obvious to you that you find it hard to take it seriously.

A: Depends. At work it’s just part of the job. They’re going to flirt and they’re sometimes going to want to pick you up because, you know, they get so excited about it. When I’m out, yeah, I get bored and I find myself looking at guys waiting to see what they have to say, to entice me. Like, ‘Come on, what do you want?’ Yeah, it is a bit boring. If someone’s trying to pick me up I immediately lose interest. If I’m having a conversation with someone and I enjoy it then I’m interested, but not if someone’s actually trying. How weird is that? But if I like a guy and he’s interested in me, I’m still a little bit surprised. But I think that’s more that, you know, when you’re personally invested in something it’s hard to read regardless.

More to come. Stay tuned.