da R-U-L-E-S

This entry is geared mainly for the husbands out there. If you’d like to keep your balls intact, follow these three simple rules . . .

Do not spray paint in the house. Even if you think you’re being sneaky – nothing, absolutely nothing will mask or cover the fumes.

Do not clean your garage tools in the dishwasher. Just don’t.

Do not throw your muddy boots in with the wash that contains the wifey’s underlovelies – or anything else for that matter!

If you do these things, you’ll be woken up in the middle of the night as your balls are being snipped off with a set of rusty ol’ hedge trimmers. Trust me, I made a pretty set of dangly earrings with the hubby’s balls not long after we married!

A question for the Aussie(s)

Well, I could have left this on the Questions section, but this is something that’s been boggling my mind for quite some time.  I figure others might also want to know the answer also…..

So:  Which direction does the water in the toilet spin in the Southern Hemisphere?  Here in the northern parts, it spins counter clockwise.  Does it really spin in the opposite direction down there?  We’ll wait while you flush…

Male mystery solved

Stolen from my other joint …

One of the perks to being a woman . . .

I can get anything out of my husband, any tedious task done, any errand made, or otherwise anything I want accomplished, but really don’t want to do myself, by saying one thing:

I’ll slob your knob if you do it.

Works everytime.

Kitchen duties

Mothers. Yes, I know it’s for your automobiles. I know it’s supposed to make your rims nice and shiny, to where you can see your reflection in them. But! Did you know that you can also use it to clean and shine your smooth-top stove? Yes, my lovelies. You can. And you, too – over there! You can do it, too.

Just clean your stove top thoroughly with soap and water – dry. Take a small amount of the polish and rub it on the stove, in small circles. Just do a little piece at a time, and once you’ve polished it, use another clean rag and buff it clean. Make sure you do this! Continue working your way over the entire surface of the stove and in minutes, it’ll be gleaming.

I do this about once a month.