Shmokin’ da pole

Ladies, you wanna know how to give the best blow job ever? You wanna know how to satisfy your man completely, giving him a mind-blowing, earth-shattering, toes-curling hummer?

Get all your teeth pulled out so you can gum that shit!

For the Yiff of It!

Dear Ms. Stark and the Good Ladies of the BOK,

I am in a bit of a quandry and I hope that you knowledgeable ladies can give me some advice.  For the last few months, I have noticed that my husband has been very interested in plush animals.  It started with him purchasing a few for me (from fairs, for special occasions etc).  A plush puppy here, a soft little pony there…  I didn’t seem to mind this behaviour at first.  But later, as his compulsion grew, I am finding his behaviour more ”strange” and “bizarre” (Our bedroom is stuffed with plush animals people!  They are choking me in my sleep! [gasp, gasp!]).    

Oh!  And, more recently, I have noticed that he spends hours browsing the Internet for pornographic photos of cartoon animals!  Just last week, while arranging my toiletries, I found a stash of XXX rated cartoon comics of furry-animals in our bathroom cabinet!  Needless to say, I was shocked.  I didn’t realize they even made such a thing as “furry-porn”.  Now, I will admit, that I flipped through a few of these comics and found them rather intriguing.  Actually, I found them a little erotic.  But, I’m not sure what I would do if my husband came home in a chicken suit!  I’m a vegan!  I can’t eat a chicken….let alone have wild furry-sex with one! 

Help!  What do I do?

-Stressed out in Fur-ville

Dear SOIF,

My advice to you is quite simple dearie.  Pick an animal that you wouldn’t consider eating – be it a fox, a wolf, a horse….whatever.  Buy the costume and have a “yiffy” good-time with that “furson” husband of yours!  And, as you experience the best Kama Sutra “yiffing” of your life – don’t forget to “Yip!” you tight-assed ”yiff-sick” fool! [Oh!  Sorry...pardon me....Is it getting *hot* in here or is it my sexy little kitty suit?!].

Ahem [smoothing her fur].  Anyways, go out and have some fun SOIF (just keep it safe, sane and consensual)…

You’ll feel like a “re-whelped” fox…

Sincerely,

Ms. Stark (High Priestess to the Guild of Yiff-sters)