This works well

Ladies, there are many ways to keep your man happy if you’re so inclined {which is probably not a bad idea if you want the trash taken out and the lawns mowed}

There are many ways for a man to keep a woman happy too, but that’s another post.

The advice I have today is short, sweet and very, very deep.

“To keep a man totally happy, you need to be 3 women in one.
A lady in the lounge, a chef in the kitchen and a slut in the bedroom”

Typical bloody men, never satisfied with one!!

~knowledgable~

My very first time

As promised, I’m going to teach you all about nude garden gnome restoration.
Now, many times I’ve been asked whether the gnome or your person are the nude ones. As most of you know by now, the answer is either can be nude, or if it takes your fancy, both.
Now, I need to warn you, a nude gnome is NOT a pretty sight before you restore it!
All I need say here is, have you EVER seen a concrete penis with lots of holes in it??? It is not for the faint hearted I have to say, and in fact my first glimpse of said penis was quite disturbing. It cost me 000’s in therapy, and there are nights when I still have nightmares about it! (must deal with it…MUST!!!)
Perhaps you would be best to start with yourself nude as opposed to the gnome? It could be less stressful for your first time.
I speak with authority here.
*Please heed this advice! *
Now, just to whet your appetite, I’ve generously decided to share my very first experience in this wonderful hobby.
Picture one is of a sad, lost soul I found laying in the garden of a deserted house. He was in SUCH a state the poor little mite. It almost bought me to tears it was so sad! He was the inspiration behind my passion for this much under rated pass time.

I spent weeks lovingly bring this little guy back to life.
I gave him a new colour.
I gave him personality.
I gave him some wonderful clothes.
I even gave him a light to shine so that other lost souls would find their way to my haven, and a book to read so he would have an opportunity to better himself.
But the most important thing?
I gave him dignity! Why should these much maligned, inoffensive little decorations NOT have their dignity I ask??
Why should they lack the one thing that means much to you and I?
It shouldn’t be so! They should have pride! So I gave it to him, out of the goodness of my heart and because to that point his life had obviously been difficult! {I try to be charitable to those less fortunate than myself. Giving is good for the soul you know!}
See below for the end result of many hours of loving care and attention.
On the really positive side, I did this during summer, and as I wasn’t quite ready to restore a nude gnome at that stage, I myself was naked, and now have a wicked all over tan!
The benefits of this hobby are enormous, and I will clarify some of them in the next lesson, but for now, I merely wanted to highlight my very first project.
I hope you gain as much pleasure from seeing the end result as I did actually creating it!
~Knowledgable~

For the guys

The bulk of our wisdom has been for the girls, so I thought I’d balance the scales with a small piece of advice for the guys. Just a quickie though. Don’t want to be giving the shop away do we girls?

If you remember this always, it will stand you in good stead.

More than likely get you laid at some point too.

Shmokin’ da pole

Ladies, you wanna know how to give the best blow job ever? You wanna know how to satisfy your man completely, giving him a mind-blowing, earth-shattering, toes-curling hummer?

Get all your teeth pulled out so you can gum that shit!

Snappy comebacks #12

Girls, when someone calls you a bitch, does it aggravate you? Never sure of what to say?

Don’t upset yourself over this little insult….we here at the BOK have the answer for you.

The next time someone tries to best you with this little trick, here’s a response that’s sure to stump them.

That may be true, but I’m the pick of the litter!

Getting laid #1

We all know these days that a decent set of tits, cute butt and legs to die for simply aren’t enough. Todays man is looking for more! Something different. Out of the box so to speak!
With this little move you’ll always give the impression of being very athletic and as we all know, men are ALWAYS looking for athletic in the bedroom!
If you mention (in passing) how you can out your ankles behind your ears, that tends to get their attention as well. Nothing like a few party tricks I always say!
I did look for a pic of someone doing this very interesting maneuver, however I ended up on so many porn sites that I got a little distracted…and rather restless….and somewhat sweaty and…never mind!!!
Um, *licking lips* now, where was I again….???
Oh yes!
The little trick above is certain to gain attention. It just screams what the caption says. We all know how men LOVE whores don’t we? They don’t care what type you are, they see or hear whore and they magically appear!
I’m aware the types this little trick would attract are likely to be somewhat shallow, however all you want to do is get laid yes? It’s not like you want to have his babies and live forever in domestic bliss is it? It’s deep and meaningful cock you’re after at this point, not deep and meaningful discussions!
Please take particular note of the fact that this has been done in a tasteful manner. Tits not actually out but obviously in evidence, the business end high enough that they can get a good look and a beaming smile to finish it off with.
Total class, all the way.
Trust me, you can’t go wrong with this one girls. It’s a winner!
Good luck in your endeavors from all of us here at the BOK.
Now go get ‘em!