Hey there….Kell here. Some of you may know me as debambam. Some of you may not know me at all! Whether you do, or whether you don’t..please enjoy this post. It’s reposted..for the second time and is without doubt one of my personal favorites, and by far the most popular. Of course 99% of the hits are from men searching because they feel as though they are lacking something….have a great day!
For all of you who found your way here by way of a search engine looking for a little something extra in your life, or pants, there are better ways of enhancing yourself – LEARN HOW TO KNIT. I hear it’s all the rage.
And now for my regular readers….
Did I ever tell you about my theory on men’s obsession with remote controls and mobile phones? It’s really very simple .
They are penis extensions.
You see it’s socially unacceptable for men to play with themselves in public, so they’ve designed substitutes. This is the real reason behind advances in technology you know. The drive to find the BEST penis extension there is.
Remote controls (also affectionately called ‘power of the universe’ in our house) can be constantly fondled, caressed and kept out in the open upon ones lap without fear of being arrested. Men must have control of the remote at all times and will reluctantly release control to the women for brief periods of time only to keep her happy, which men want. When women are happy they will help you play with the remote, and we all know that while playing with the remote on your own is fun, it’s much more interesting with a second party…
Mobile phones on the other hand are simply for showing off. They say out loud to the world – this is my equipment, see it has more functions than yours, I can do more with it! Have you ever noticed the smaller they are, the more functions they have? It’s like they are saying ‘Just because i’m small, doesn’t mean I won’t satisfy your needs.’ The small ones also have those handy, remind me of something else, flip screens. One size one minute, then FLIP, and they are BIGGER and more fun to play with.
Men need to know where there penis extensions are at all times. Just like they know where the real thing is. Maybe. Lets face it, they tend to poke and prod and adjust all day long, maybe all that is to simply check that it’s still actually there? Who knows. I don’t. I’m just a crazy mum trying to keep her brain alive by making up dumbass theories about little pieces of plastic, metal and batteries that when lost can cause a man to run hysterically through the house like he’s lost an essential body part….
