If you have any questions feel free to leave them here and we’ll answer them for you.
There is much knowledge to be gained from this blog you know. The people who run it are not only intelligent, they’re funny, irreverent, articulate and quite experienced in many things.
Any and all questions are encouraged but you will need to direct them to the person you want to answer it. I’m hoping there will be a few of us (really soon!!)
How many are here to learn
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29 responses so far ↓
Bella // September 8, 2007 at 7:08 am
How much wood could’a woodchuck chuck, it a woodchuck could chuck wood?
hehehehehehe! Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. That question is aimed at each and everyone of you gorgeous teachers! I am just starting to look around here and it’s awesome – good for you girlz! Love it!
observantbystander // September 8, 2007 at 4:11 pm
First, I think the woodchuck would have to have opposable thumbs in order to chuck wood. Supposing he had opposable thumbs then, and given his relative size to the average human male, the woodchuck would be able to chuck approximately 95% less wood than your garden-variety human male. This question, while a classic in the tongue twisting genre, is actually easily answered. But here’s one that will stump the chumps every time: How much wood would a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck wood?
i wOOd have answered this way but was pushed for time so i went with the quick cheap shot…i now see the error of my ways however and promise i’ll never do it again oh wise friend of mine…
and i have to ask…he if he did fuck wood, woodn’t he get splinters in his poor little johnson???
moe
Oh you betcha, sweetie! So, if he fucked wood, he wouldn’t fuck be able to fuck too much of it!
Deb // September 8, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Okay, so in the “about” section, knowledgeable said she was going to teach us about nude garden gnome restoration, and I’m already confused!
Is the restoration done while the restorer is in the nude? Or the gnome is in the nude? Or the garden is denuded? Or a combination, or all three?
Clearly I am in need of some teaching, teachers!
firstly, thanks for asking deb…
education of curious people is my true passion in life (besides good bonking that it is) but i digress..
now this is the truly wondrous thing about the hobby in question…it can be any or all of the scenarios you mention!
if you’re home alone, it’s just the gnome, you strip him down and away you go in a business like manner…if your significant other is home, it’s both of you, clearly because it’s such a SEXY hobby, so you should be prepared for the hot passion that is guaranteed to ensue, and if the gnome is feeling a little toey, then you can strip his paint and let him have his way with the denuded garden…
it’s a hobby for all seasons this one….
knowledgable
poseidonsmuse // September 9, 2007 at 2:59 am
OMG! Lol! I think I just walked into an episode of MP’s Flying Circus here! I need to pinch myself…[pinch]…No, this is real and you people are utterly hilarious (and a hell of alot of fun, I must say….].
I guess my question about the gnome comment is this…and relates back to the centuries old Barbie and Ken doll question – “Do gnomes have the proper ‘equipment?’” That is – Is it really worth all of that effort to denude them, if all they have underneath their colourful, painted clothes is a “bump” or “mound”?
Just Curious.
poseidonsmuse // September 9, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Why thank you for that very descriptive response. I should mention that I am an artist….Sculpture is one of my “fortes.”
prisonmike // September 10, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Why are there no “B” batteries?
When driving, why is somone going 30 mph slower than you labeled an “idiot”, and someone driving 30 mph faster than you a “maniac”?
In quantity discount pricing, is there a point where if you order enough of an item, it’s free?
observantbystander // September 10, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Oh, so many questions! Let’s consult our massive brain power, shall we?
#1: There are no B batteries because the letter B has already been taken by the first letter of the word “Battery”. Now, don’t get all picky and tell me the letter A’s been taken too, because then you’d just be questioning my authority to give answers. And that would just be asking for trouble.
#2: The word “idiot” is always reserved for slow drivers – but only for extrodinarly slow ones. You see, one of the connotations of the word idiot is ‘one who is mentally retarded’ . Here in the politically correct US or A, we like to refer to the mentally challenged as slow. Slow driver = Idiot. Get it?
You are correct: The term used for crazy whippersnappers who insist on driving well over the posted speed limit is “maniac.” The word Mania means ‘wildly disordered’ or ‘intensely enthusiastic’. Since the illicit drug – street named speed – causes intense enthusiasm and overzealousness, we use the word “maniac” to describe speeders. The logic here is quite heartening, isn’t it?
#3: No. Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, there is no such thing as free quantity discount. Unless you’re talking buy one, get one free (BOGO), in which case you’re still buying something so the other thing isn’t really free, now is it? Look buddy, we run a nice capitalistic society and nothin’s free here. You’ll be wanting to move your ass over to Romania or one of those other pinko countries where the government takes care of everything! Free….sheesh.
Red // September 10, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Those are FINE answers, MsOB. Perfect, articulate, very knowledgable. I see nothing to add here.
MrMikie is one of my peeps so I know what kind of smart assedness he needs. Just slap him around a few times, girls, and he’ll settle right down.
anonymum // September 10, 2007 at 8:39 pm
OB, i’d like to bow to your superiority on this occasion…these were answered with authority, good common sense and i especially liked the free advise at the end there…well done…round of applause from my corner
prisonmike // September 10, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Well reasoned and insightful! I knew better than to expect actual “knowledge”. Entertainment is better than knowledge any day, though.
BTW – I’m the proud owner of season 3 sister-friend!
You’re a little quick on the draw on the season 3, Mikie boy. Don’t you even give a girl a chance to slip an idea to your wife on a good birthday pres? As far as “knowledge” goes, seriousness is way overrated!
cowgalutah // September 10, 2007 at 11:54 pm
OK I have always wanted to ask someone else and today it’s coming out…Is it OK to clean the house in my neckies? The old man loves it and will always “help” me around the house with the chores…
OB sez: I’m bowing to one of my esteemed collegues for the answer to this one! Red? Moe?
Red // September 11, 2007 at 3:20 am
First off, Im assuming that neckies means naked.
Is it okay? Ya damn tootin’ it’s okay! It’s required! ’specially in this house!
Yes, housework can be done nekkid. The only thing I draw the line at is frying up bacon. Done it, felt it, not looking for seconds!
anonymum // September 11, 2007 at 8:31 am
if you mean is it ok to do the house work naked hell yes girl! it not only gets you a helping hand it could possibly get you laid and we ALL know how much fun that is don’t we???
but i must concur with my esteemed colleague red on the frying bacon…whilst it’s a good sign that nipples are erect we don’t want them inflamed for the wrong reason now do we??
cowgalutah // September 12, 2007 at 6:43 pm
The old man has put a limit to the neckies outside, I was all for showing the religous family across the street what I got. I didn’t think the 42 DDD would be missed!
oh you gals are great! THANK YOU!
*double take – wipes eyes* WHAT?!
42 triple D’s! That’s what I call booooobage! You go!
Red
anonymum // September 12, 2007 at 9:12 pm
holy shit gal! i pray for flea bites to make mine swell!! you’re killin’ me here!
cowgalutah // September 13, 2007 at 2:29 am
I would love to pass them on, 100% all natural. But they really kill the exercise routine, not to mention any activity really. Well all but you know…
LMFAO…you’ve hurt my feeling now!!! please note, not all of them, just one
moe
observantbystander // September 13, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Haha cowgalutah! Mine kill me when jumping up and down too! There is no such thing as a sports bra that will tame these babies! They refuse to be restrained!!!
anonymum // September 13, 2007 at 12:17 pm
girls, i’m sobbing now.!!!
no, really…there’s no way i’m letting mark see these comments! i’ve got him convinced more than a mouthful is a waste and he only has a small mouth!
Arm Jerker J. // September 15, 2007 at 1:32 pm
That should say I GOT ONE. Geez. And I call myself an editor.
but it DOES say “i got one”
Arm Jerker J. // September 15, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I got one. I just wrote a blog about finally accepting being a single chick. Please tell why people seem to want to make everyone coupled up!? I get so tired of people saying I NEED a man or asking why I’m not dating. Why are people so hung up on it. Who cares if I’m hooked up or not!
Im passing on this one, hoping that one of the more experienced, knowledgable womens here will have an answer for you.
Red
AJ
Arm Jerker J. // September 16, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Sucking socks??? Whoa. Maybe it’s just early…
And I thought that I didn’t write my question right when in fact, did I??
Anywho, thanks for the answer, knowledgable.
the socks crack is just my sick australian sense of humour
observantbystander // September 16, 2007 at 1:18 pm
AJ: I agree with my esteemed collegue’s answer. I might add though that society wants its women attached to a man, and that this question is not as often asked about men. I believe this is a case of brain evolution not catching up to society’s progress. The fact is, that women no longer need a partner in order to make it in the world. Yet those old, ingrained thoughts still persist – even our language validates the belief that women are better off with a man: Bachelor = Good whereas Spinster = Bad. Studies actually show that unmarried women rate their lives as extremely happy but married women rank much lower on the happiness scale. The converse is true of men’s happiness. Perhaps society subconsciensly wants to satisfy a man’s happiness first. Thnk of yourself as forging new ground for society. The more unmarried/unattached and successful women there are in society, the more it will become accepted.
Great questions AJ!
Arm Jerker J. // September 16, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I like that. Thanks OB.
observantbystander // September 22, 2007 at 4:01 am
Dear Fellow Knowledgeables: I find I’m somewhat attracted to women, but have never had the opportunity (or the courage) to actually do anything about it. I otherwise consider myself to be a straight woman. Any advice?
observantbystander // September 22, 2007 at 12:55 pm
OK, I’m posting it front and center. Let the advice begin!
Yay!
R
Arm Jerker J. // October 6, 2007 at 10:46 am
Hey ladies. Back again with another question I challenged you with here:
http://awriterdodgingbullets.com/2007/10/05/std-free-is-the-life-for-me/
Why is sex cursed?!
That’s a good question AJ. I often wonder about that myself. Is the proliferation of STD’s God’s way of forcing monogamy on us? Since I don’t believe in God, I’ll just kick that out the door as a possible explanation right now. Let’s just call it simple biology and the curse of the women’s movement. Our vaginas are beautiful little incubators for all kinds of things – yeast, bacteria, viruses. The warm, moist environment that Mr. Penis loves so much can turn nasty on us when invaded by microorganisms designed for Evil Purposes.
The women’s movement of the late sixties took the stigma off of extramarital sex. We enjoyed this relative freedom to couple at will for about 15 years, until the sheer numbers of people having sex with multiple partners caught up with us. Now you have the saying “when you sleep with one person, you’re sleeping with all of her/her past parteners too.” ‘Tis true. And with all that good intimate human contact comes the flip side of STDs. Let’s face it, life prevents us from having our cake and eating it too. Let’s just call it the Great Balancing Act of Life.
So don your condoms, my friends, unless you’re in a solid, disease-free relationship. Or better yet, invest in a good vibrator!
~Knowledgeable
Arm Jerker J. // October 6, 2007 at 10:47 am
BTW, can you edit that last comment?! It’s early…
whoremonal // October 7, 2007 at 7:22 am
my question is it only legally wrong, or is it also morally wrong to accept money for sex?
and if it is…does that make me a morally wrong person, or does it just make me someone doing a job?
Excellent question and one I have pondered myself from time to time. While it seems ridiculously puritan to criminalize prostitution, one must be absolutely sure they are doing it of their own free will. The act of selling your body for sex is not morally wrong, in my opinion. However, if you’re not enjoying yourself, if you feel degraded by it, if it will always be the only way you can make your living – then you’re crossing a line and you may want to reconsider your career choice. While I’m a live and let live person, I’m also keenly aware that many women who sell sex end up with self-esteem problems. And this is no way to live, ladies! We’re better than that, aren’t we? Just because men are willing to pay for it doesn’t necessarily make it the best thing for US as women.
`knowledgable
treehugger // April 24, 2009 at 2:13 pm
im not good with combacks at guys or girls . were talkin highschool ! so give me a hand